27 Jun 09 - Μου λείπεις και σ 'αγαπώ

ok, maybe watching transformers is not a good idea afterall.. i like the graphic techie (though i prefer more details if given a choice)...but even though i'm watching with my cg, my zone, i kinda miss him... that someone...

dun get me wrong, i'm not emo bcos of the kissing and strong love between Sam and Mikaela (they really went through a lot to prove their love for each other..despite distance).. it's the something inside which stirred me and caused me to make a Philia prayer for him in my return cab.. dont ask me why, but words just poured out and i really want him to be happy and blessed.. agape i cant but i'll philia him from this distance.. i really pray he is and will be mightily blessed in His walk with God..

i know my God is watching over him, guiding him with His Holy Spirit, for a greater purpose.. i believed and still believe he'll make a difference.. that is his gift..

i will stand in the gap for you, bosco; you will always be in my prayers.. be happy always..
σε αγαπώ

25 Jun 09 - Second Wilderness

I love Jesus! ok, i know some of you already know that.. but i really love love love Him!

do you remember an uncle whom God sent into my life when i was at my life pit? he opened my eyes to how Holy Spirit was working in my life, his smses always encouraged me to re-focus on God when i'm downcast, how we shared the Scriptures and he encouraged me to commit Bible verses to memory as a mean to edify another person in future..anyway, all in all, i really think i've this affinity with my brethens Catholics.. they can be so sensitive to Holy Spirit (i'm so jealous)- they really knows how to pop up into my life with word of season! first was my goddaddy, and now uncle bonnie..

i'm sure you read my recent close encounter with bosco and you can be sure i'm kinda affected (hey abit, not alot).. then suddenly, for no reason and with no contact for nearly 10mths, there came a long encouragement from uncle bonnie! *he's really my secret angel*
"The Lord has never been known to go back on His Word or back down His Promises. Only believe! If fear overtakes you, look to Jesus. He loves you and has the answer for every problem. We serve a creative God whose power adjust to every problem of life. He will walk with you through your wilderness, making a way. Use it powerfully"

wow! i mean, wow wow! cant tell you how much this sms meant to me, but it sure blesses my heart more than your friendly encouragement!

wait! you know, it's not a norm for Abba Father to give only one blessing, He gives combo and more!
tonight at Bible study with pst kong, i was impacted by this "Second Wilderness"


wow wow wow wow! if you do not understand what is wilderness, or have never experienced wilderness, let me tell you it's not exactly anyone's favourite place to hang out, but it's sure a place full of lessons and experiences! Joseph and many other men of God had to emanate from great breakings and wilderness in their lives, before they fulfilled their calling.. what great joy it is to serve the Lord. knowing it will please His Heart when we walk in His Calling! there is indeed no greater joy than to hear Him say 'Well done, good and faithful servant'!!

Thanks to God, i'll emerge from this second wilderness with God-dealt attitudes and pride, and increase capacity of trust and dependency on the Lord! i pray i would and i know i will cos my Lover, my God, has never forsake me and will never leave me! Praise to God in the Highest!! I love You, Jesus!!



Songs of Solomon 7:10
I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.

Songs of Solomon 8:5
Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover?

21 Jun 09 - Paths crossed

j had a happy day yesterday.. gun shooting in the morning hiped her up with new personal record of 56% hits! she must be getting better and more skilled in her shooting.. her victorious vengeance was so lavishly displayed on her face, that her coach strongly encouraged her to practise often and even try out pistol shooting in time to come.. wah, maybe she is dangerously talented..

still on cloud nine, her beloved Abba Father ministered to her heart with Hab 2:3 - the very verse of blessing given during her YISS.. somehow this verse calmed the raging seas of anxiety in her heart, her mind.. somehow this verse brought her peace and joy in her wait.. she knew and she knows her God is in control; everything was and is still in plan according to God's perfect timing.. though it tarries, wait for it, because it will surely come it will not tarry. what a blessing when God, the Highest King, speaks to you! nothing beats the joy and peace which surpasses all understanding!! Thanks be to God!

in addition, j will be going 'home' soon, hence she is really looking forward to return.. as you can see, J was really hapi happi happy.. till...

on her way to buffet lunch with her friends today, she caught a glimpse of him.. it happened so fast that she couldn't rely on her sight but her heart.. her intuition per se.. can she be sure it's him? it's just a strong sense of 'attraction' which caused her to look up, yet in that split second everything was so mercurial.. and a milli-second later, he's gone but did he see j? .. j was sure it's him (come'on that kind of affinity can only be felt with him), but kinda disappointed to see/feel him again.. disappointed by the fact that human heart can be so hardened when changed.. anyway, j bumped onto b and that's it.

as much as j knows j has always been blessed with not bumping onto her heartbreaks, no one knows why paths cross, no one can understand the Master's Plan except the Planner Himself.. assuredly and truly - que sara sara, what will be will be.. if God is for me, who can be against me? He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. who can fathom the depth of His love, the greatness of His wisdom? Trust Him and be still - allow the Creator to work in and through you, to unfold the Glory of His Plan. Amen!

if you think you have nothing to pray, keep praying for j.. may the Joy of my Father be my strength. thank you..

13 Jun 09 - Love's Risks

didn't want to watch but somehow ended up watching the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past".. it's such a typical 'love hurts' story of Charles Dickens' classic tale - how pple choose to give up on love bcos of the painful rick.. it was really a enjoyable show.. relaxing yet.. a reminder on love.. truly fun and enjoyable.. guys, you should watch it! and learn, and act in love! :)

what lingers in my mind now is that scene where colin was cleaning up the wedding cake mess with jenny gloating over his hardwork.. ... jenny's response to colin's coquetry moves: 'perhaps it's me who are attracted to a project.but after you, i told myself no more work-in-process but a full man.' and colin's rebuked 'and hence, you are always in company of girls".. wow, this dialogue really goes deep into me... just like the disappointment jenny experienced, i think i've gotten my fair share of faith loss in such matter.. nowadays, i'm sure you people know i'm in company of girlfriends.. i'm not saying girlfriends are not good, but what is my reason/motive for such bonding.. is it not bcos i've not found a 'full man' (or, waiting for the 'full man' to hunt me down?)

very often, i get comments like 'u r always busy how can guy date you?' or 'ur time is so packed,how to date u?'.. honestly, i dont think my time is that crammed- if only you ask, i will try to arrange. my friends will rebuke me with 'i asked but you also not free'.. and why so? because they usually hesitated/got choked in their requests.. i mean, please be fair to me - i cant be waiting around doing nothing, in hopeful wait that someone will date me, right? of course i have to keep myself occupied in my available time.. if there's no activity planned,i'll definitely try to arrange something to do.. so please, guys, take my most earnest piece of advice - ACT FAST! time and tide wait for no man; let alone a hunter wastes no chance of letting his prey escape..
if only you act and ask, you'll never know if i'm ready to receive..


Love's Risks
There is a risk involved in everything;every time you share a smile,every time you shed a tear,you are opening yourself up to hurt.
Some people tread slowly through lifeavoiding the closeness risk brings,side-stepping the things they can't understand,turning away from those who care too much,those who care too long,those who hold too tightly.
There is never an easy way to love.You cannot approach it cautiously. It will not wait for you to arm yourself.It does not care if you turn away.It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.It is not reliable, it is not cautious. It is not sympathetic.It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.It strikes the strongest of mindand brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.It hurts to need, it hurts to belong.It hurts to be the other part of someone elsewithout either of your consent,but, from the moment it overtakes you it hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes.It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.But, it's in the total surrender of all defensethat we, no matter weak or strong,no matter willing or captive,no matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,outweighing it all are the things that love is. Love is surrender without a loss.It is a gift without the cost.It consumes your every thought and desire,every breath you take.It is the fire that fuels you to do more than pass through life;it urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome, having felt love;you will never be the same.It may scar your heart and souland leave you only memories of forever.Or, it may cause every day of your lifeto feel like there is no need for tomorrow.But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk.For in all of life Love is truly the only risk worth taking.
© Ruth Bourdon

12 Jun 09 - 206 messages fr 15Aug07 to 12Aug08

all things happen for a reason... for 'no' reason, my precious phone got itself into my porridge last night (i didnt have time to eat my home-packed lunch and it spilled out in my lunch bag where i threw in my phone when i was in hurry to knock off work at 930pm).. what a horror when i finally arrived home! after cleaning the mess, i cant get the lcd screen to function! tried all means, it just refused to light up.. no choice, i just had to use my old phone while i relunctantly pack it for service centre.. *trust me, i was really so devastated, esp after a depressing day at work*

my little purple back-up phone.. it used to be my precious phone.. it got me a while to get used to its functions again, but i cant help feeling the aching pain of knowing it used to be my precious phone... a lot of memories in this phone..

alone, i headed to PS for servicing during lunch.. alone, i felt the heartache even more.. alone, i went into saved messages function.. alone, i started reading..first sms from him was 15aug07, the last was 12aug08.. just 1yr period.. so much can change and had changed from the same person..

15Aug07
"I know i'm nuisance by asking u again n again.but tis is NOT the way i hope,wish,want or pray for.i always n still believe love overcome all things,as long both r willing to work together,just like our song.2 strangers can support each other in this path we chose.since chosen,I'll not back out despite comes what may.i love you,bosco"

12Aug08
"I have my things, thanks n i'm sorry u had to hear it from Jacob. Wasn't my intention but wad's done is done. I've responded to ur blog, i have a little prayer at the end that i wish u would pray for me too.Take care n may God continue to bless n watch over u n ur family.Bosco aka B"

cant tell you how much it hurt again to read these.. just 2 messages (first n last) are enough to make my eyes watery.. my bro commented i should let go.. and have i not? but these are memories which were once so closed to heart.. of their once so close promixity, the heart feels the ache again.. esp when i'm facing such a depressing work situation, the pain magnified.. how i wished i had a shoulder to cry on.. trust me, the reminder was really bad.. even though i managed to fight it off, the punch was hard..

after 3hrs of Bible Study, i'm better now - more cheerful in person and in spirit.. my god-bro david likes to tease me - no matter how depressed or worse i am, i wont stay in that stage for long.. cos i'll bounce back to joy after some church stuff, be it prayer meetings, cg or bible study.. well, what can i say? i really thank God for who He is.. without Him, without His Grace, i cant and wont be where i am now.. i know jogging and bananas help to fight depression but i tell you, it's your walk with God that will shield and pull you out from any negativity!! turn to Jesus in all your ways! He is your Fountain of Joy, Endless Flow of Heavenly Living Water!


Psa 61:1-3
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

Isa 49:10
They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat upon them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.

John 6:35
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

10 Jun 09 - I Was a Failure at Prayer

I Was a Failure at Prayer
And what I learned because of it
Patty Kirk

Ever since I became a Christian, I've worried about praying. Should I pray to God the Father? To Jesus? To the Comforter God sent to advocate for us after Jesus left our world? Should I favor unmistakably sacred topics—gratitude, praise, others' salvation—over my daily worries and complaints? And how, precisely, does one go about conversing with someone not physically present?

Expert advice on prayer abounds. At the Christian university where I teach, chapel speakers promote everything from praying directly from Scripture to "just being quiet and listening." Orthodox speakers recommend the "Jesus Prayer": "Lord Jesus, have mercy upon me, a sinner." Other speakers say prayer is simply a conversation with God, and I think, Simply?! Just a regular old conversation with someone I can't see, hear, or touch, and whose voice is so tricky to sort from others', especially from the voices of my own hopes and fears?

My measly prayers typically amount to internal gasps of Help! in a crisis or middle-of-the-night anxieties I call "pray-worrying." Occasionally I add a perfunctory—and usually long overdue—remembrance of someone else's problems. Or let out a "Wow!" in recognition of some dazzling evidence of God's creativity. Sometimes, though, I go whole days without conversing with God at all.

I'm especially ungifted in the area of public prayer. I covet others' ability not only to remember long lists of others' needs but to reformulate them into communiqués that don't sound, as mine do, wacky or false. And whether I'm praying publicly or privately, I seem incapable of praying for very long. After a minute or two, I get distracted. In bed, I fall asleep. At church, I find myself gazing over the bowed heads around me, trying to remember if I turned off my daughters' hair straightener. Although I'd like to follow the apostle Paul's advice to pray continually, I can't do it.

Once, on a plane trip, I sat next to an elderly woman wearing a funny little diaphanous bonnet. When I asked about it, she called it her "prayer hat" and said she wore it because the Bible says to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NRSV) and that women should cover their heads while praying (1 Corinthians 11:5-6). She was a sweet, earnest woman, and I wondered if, somewhere beneath our conversation, she was praying for me even then. I hoped so. Later I discovered she was. We'd exchanged addresses, and she sent me occasional letters over the next years saying she was still praying for me. I wish I could pray as she did: for a stranger, years after a chance meeting, continually, and with childlike confidence in even the oddest passages of Scripture.

I can't seem to maintain a regular "quiet time with God," as friends call their prayers. Some of them have devotions every morning, following a reading schedule—the Bible in a year's time or a devotional anthology—that keeps them on track. One friend has a devotional teatime, filling an extra cup to visualize God's presence. My husband reads a daily Bible chapter over breakfast. I try to follow his example but soon find myself mechanically grading those last three papers or reading one of the magazines accruing on the breakfast table. I am, in short, a failure at prayer.

Are Some Prayers Better?
I also suffer from prayer envy. I wish I could pray with the steadfastness of my friends and husband. I wish I could pray like Moses, Hagar, and even Cain, whose conversations with God sound as natural and normal as if the Creator of heaven and earth stood before them in the flesh. I long to pray with the abandon of certain students, who lift their hands or cup them reverently. I've tried to mimic their gestures, hoping to share the accompanying feelings of rapture, but even in private I just feel embarrassed.

I envy even the prayers of my own childhood: blithe, stream-of-consciousness commentaries on daily life—Oops! Oh no! Please help me! Let me not get in trouble!—to an always interested God aware of everything going on in my life at every moment. I wish I could pray with such trust and candor still, instead of stressing about whether my prayers are adequately holy.

Often I pray about praying itself, thinking to hope into happening what an old farmer once told me had happened to him. As he matured in faith, he told me, God had changed his "want-er."
Change my "pray-er," I've begged God. Make me desire your will, instead of the handy miracles I prefer. Make me pray bigger, longer, less selfishly, more trustingly, more constantly, more as you would have me pray.

One kind friend reassures me that however one prays is okay, but all the prayer advice out there argues otherwise. Also, I know from other friends that I'm not alone in worrying about prayer. We're like the disciples, for whom praying clearly did not come naturally. They begged Jesus to teach them to pray. They failed to cast out demons because they didn't pray enough. In Gethsemane, when Jesus expressly asked for prayer, they fell asleep. Jesus himself suggested that some prayers are better than others. Responding to his disciples' plea for instruction, Jesus gave them the Lord's Prayer—and believers ever since have debated whether he intended it as a conversational model or a prayer to be memorized and recited. Jesus faulted a Pharisee for praying too ostentatiously and commended a tax collector who, "standing far off, would not even look up to heaven" and prayed, in essence, the Jesus Prayer: "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!" (Luke 18:13, NRSV).

My best prayers, I think, are borrowed. Sometimes, in remorse, I find myself unconsciously mouthing the Act of Contrition of my Catholic childhood: "Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee!" Or silently reciting from the Mass, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed." With the father of a demon-possessed boy, I whisper into my skepticism, "Help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24, NRSV). And I often pray the little girl protagonist's prayer in Flannery O'Connor's short story, "Temple of the Holy Ghost": "Help me not to be so mean."

Listening to Myself Pray
Once I got an e-mail from a former creative writing student who, in the wake of several personal disasters, had stopped believing in God. In his e-mail, he reported his life was shaping up and his faith slowly returning. He'd also started writing again—"weird little devotional essays," he said, like those he remembered me reading aloud in class.

"Does it ever seem to you that your writing is prayer?" he asked.
His question was transformational. Afterward, I felt as though this struggling young believer gave me my prayers—not just my weird little devotional essays but all the other prayers I'd been praying all along. Self-centered, semi-conscious pleas for help I send up whenever I'm in trouble. Botched efforts to pray through lists of others' needs. Even the set prayers I memorized as a child that rise unbidden from my regret.

All are efforts to acknowledge God's presence. All are, in other words, prayer. Failed prayer, yes. God knows my prayers are vain at times, often ridiculous, always malfocused and inadequate, at best mere mindless moans. Indeed, as Paul points out, "we do not know how to pray as we ought" (Romans 8:26, NRSV). Our most effectual prayers, he says, are little more than "groaning as in the pains of childbirth" along with the rest of creation (Romans 8:22). Never-theless, he assures us, "the Spirit helps us in our weakness" and "intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit" (Romans 8:26-27).

It seems strange to me that Jesus, who so often preached on the subject of prayer, left it to Paul to offer us that encouragement. One straightforward bit of prayer advice Jesus offered heartens me, though: "Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" (Mark 11:24, NRSV). Interestingly, Jesus doesn't say, "believe that you will receive it," but rather, "believe that you have received it." The tense difference argues that God isn't only listening to us when we pray but has been listening all along. And that is the promise that informs every prayer I manage to groan out these days. In the asking, Jesus says, we've already received what we desire, although we don't yet know it.

The typical life is full of groaning. Full of prayers. But God hears, and responds to, every prayer. Even if we pray badly. Even if we're so self-centered that we can only pray for our own needs. Even if we pray without really believing God is listening. Even if we're unaware God is there at all.

Sometimes, listening to myself pray, I sense God listening, too—now mourning with me, now agreeing, now hoping I'll see things differently. In my imagination, God stands invisibly before me, not interrupting, not saying anything, not making any sound at all, but just breathing my prayer in, like air. In such moments, the most essential prayer that underlies all prayer—the prayer for God's company—has, in the praying, already been answered.

Patty Kirk, a TCW regular contributor, is an adjunct professor of English at John Brown University and is author of Confessions of an Amateur Believer (Thomas Nelson). www.amateurbeliever.com

*************
What a way to answer my prayer! our Abba Father is really full of creativity!!
Just minutes ago, i was praying about my prayer life.. feeling just the same as Patty did.. and when i came online to check my emails, read some reading.. this article just popped out! nothing can be more timely!

i thank You Jesus! i love you, God! big prayers, small prayers, loud prayers or whispered prayers, You hears them all and have already given Your Answer! thank You, Jesus - Lover of my soul, Lord of my all!

4 Jun 09 - Que Sara Sara

another girls' night but with a different group.. was super duper late due to work, by the time i arrived at timbre, they were having their dessert.. (yes, i know i'm superlatively late)..

ok, good news for those of you who have been praying for me.. i came to realise 'hey, age really does matter'..maybe i can consider striking off any guy younger than 2Feb79! comparing my grp of young girls tonight to the slightly matured ones last night, it's a great difference.. i guess as we get 'mature', the more daring and expressive we are.. tonight was really typical girls' chat - abt marriage, abt wedding etc.. very prim very proper.. as i saw my younger days in them, i realised how 'girlie' i've been.. but was that the real me? i think it's high time i be myself - young, caring and bold! (haa.. TP slogan) i can be very tom-boy per se, if you know me better... enough of girlie planning, just be myself :)

the punch of the night was the big question - 'how long have you been single?' .. woah! visualise 3 ladies who are 4yrs younger than you, asking you this question!! my goodness, that really made me laugh :D .. if you are around my age group, it's quite common to be single or marry late.. even if we are attached or married, we dont ask the singles such a question as we understood such chemistry are 'beyond our control'.. *maturity do matters* afterall, my personal belief - as long as we're happy being our true selves in singlehood, trust God to do the rest. :)

to answer this big question, i'd like to dedicate this song to all who are concerned with my singlehood (i like this song since my childhood)
"When i was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will i be
Will i be pretty? Will i be rich?
Here's what she said to me

'Que Sara Sara,
Whatever will be will be
The future is not for us to see
Que Sara Sara
What will be will be' "

3 Jun 09 - Joy in midst of dryness :)

even when the work piled up (as usual), J was in good spirit to start with..yet at the back of her mind, her 'need' for a new handbag kept bugging her (she has been doing online 'research' for past mths, even though she had no time to shop around).. in her carefree spirit, J decided to drop everything at 6pm and went orchard central for her bag before meeting her girlfriends at 745pm.. somehow she knew she'll find something there..

arrived at the lifeless new orchard central mall, it took J 2 rounds to locate the shop.. spent 15mins inside, looking for 'the one'.. comparing, and trying each bag, each size and their material.. she was on the edge of giving up, until she looked up.. THERE IT IS! hanging up high on the wall.. little black bag of the right size, of the right material! this is THE ONE! the affiliation is so strong that she cannot put the bag down after trying.. 'it belongs to me'... finally.. i finally found you!

though it costs me a light bomb, but i'm so so happy! i called my dear brother to share this joy, and he commented i'm like a 'small kid'.. haha.. yes, i was really very happy.. immediately after my mission accomplished, i headed back to city hall for my ladies' night dinner..

woah, SupperClub is marvellously comfortable.. lounge lighting, white firm sofa bed with huge huggy cushions (i love hugging big cushions!), together with jazz music, makes J to be in even higher spirit (esp after her joy in getting her handbag).. we were so excited to be in this new place, let alone it's a FREE dinner! as the 3 of them are 'new' to one another, i tried to break the ice.. thank God for His wisdom - the girls i invited tonight all have very sociable personality.. hardly find any ice requiring any melting.. flashlights and smiles soon filled our atmosphere as new friends are captured into digital pictures..

seated by 8pm, the first course of dinner was only served at 9pm! during that 1hr of hunger wait, i was trying to 'entertain' my girlfriends who were obviously starving mad! all sorts of poses for photo-taking, all kind of topics to chat, as long as they keep their focus from their (mine too) famishing stomach. but, even when the dinner finally started at 9pm, the whole service intervals are so long.. *this is what i call a FRENCH DINNER, cos a classic dinner in french style takes 4hrs-they start late n end even later; trust me i studied F&B* .. but goodness me, this is Singapore.. our poor tummy are groaning for food.. we nearly 'fainted' at the small delicate portions (typical french cuisine presentation) when the first 3 dishes were presented, each after significant intervals.. when we survived to our 4th course of dinner, everyone was kinda anxious+curious what the dessert would be and how it'll be presented..

never did i expect.. come'on this is our first visit to this place.. i was really surprised yet excited to see the huge presentation of dessert! what fun (and provocative)!! totally exciting and rousing! what a perfect dessert for ladies' night! :P happi happy happi.. J is happy, from start to end of day.. happi happi happy, J is very happy today.. *check out my facebook photos!*

Give thanks and praises to the Lord, for He is good all the time! :D


Isa 41:18
I will open rivers in desolate heights, And fountains in the midst of the valleys;
I will make the wilderness a pool of water, And the dry land springs of water.

2 Jun 09 - Time with God flies

i know you are expecting me to proclaim how time flies at work, esp i've been complaining of 'so little time,so much things to do'. but seriously, time really flies so much faster when you are in God's Presence. it's no wonder why ancient has this saying '天上1天,凡間10年'.. not to forget that our God is Everlasting God.. what is 'time' to Him?

after playing truant with God for so long, i've been trying to get my spiritual life in shape *body, mind and spirit = wholesome being* but somehow, every tuesdays is extremely challenging... tasks just keep coming in with yesterday's dateline.. before i know it, it's past 7pm! .. today i firmly resolved to get myself on track with my goal.. my tuesdays with Jesus.. before i realise, it's past 5.30pm... my mum called to ask if i'd like a lift home.. even though i know it's a 'test' for me (because i may 'might as well' go home with my family, rather than making that detour to AR), i jumped on that offer.. i practically rode on this 'reason' to abandon my work tasks at 615pm - the appointed time to pick me up. though they nagged 'why so late still go church?', i thank God for their understanding and acceptance to alight me at CTK after our dinner.. *fyi, i had a sudden asthma attack during dinner which nearly made me forgo appointment with the Most High.. talk about spiritual battle*

anyway, i made it to AR.. finally, after a long struggle, after some sudden haps.. i'm glad i'm back to this room again, back to His Presence.. prayer is really a language - if you dont use it often, you'll 'lose touch' of it.. i started being blank, clueless on how to pray.. but God is faithful! He promises in Deut 4:29 "But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul." it is SO TRUE! keep pressing in with boldness to seek Him, yet having the gentle patience to wait on Him; you will surely find Him! we chatted.. yes, i chatted with God.. there's nothing i can hide from Him; even though i might feel 'no point telling' or 'He should know already', i want Him to know everything in my heart, in my life.. He responded in His tiny voice into my heart.. .. short chat, but a great refreshing one!!

by the time we ended our chat, it's past 930pm! woah.. time really flies when you are in God's Presence.. how i wish i can linger longer under His wings.. who says 20mins of prayer time is 'hard to clock'? i tell you, once you are in His Presence, even 60mins is not enough.

to all of you out there who are struggling to 'clock' your prayer time,please ignore that 'time requirement'.. take a step at a time to press in onto the Lord.. praise and worship, or even chat with Him first.. let the Holy Spirit guides you into who, what and how He wants you to intercede.. remember, prayer is talking to our Living God. no prayer formula/equation.. just a heart that seeks His Face, a desire to draw near to our Creator.. He is alive, hears and answers our prayers!
Glory to God in the Highest!!