29 Aug 09 - i'm finally BAPTISED!!

u cannot imagine how many butterflies are there in my stomach for the whole morning.. esp when it's nearer to 1.30pm! and even when i'm in the quene towards baptism pool, more butterflies grew and I WAS SO NERVOUS! (dont let my smiles and laughter deceives you! i was truly nervous!!) though it's hot and sunny afternoon, i was quite 'cold' cos i'm really very nervous~

step by step, with some small chats now and then, i approached the baptism pool.. and it's my turn! suddenly the cool water does not matter anymore.. in that split second, i concentrated on the baptism prayer and next moment, i'm baptised! publicly declared my faith in Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! trust me, as i emerges out from the water, I HAVE NEVER FELT SO REFRESHED IN MY LIFE! simply so free and light! ok, i know i'm sounding radical, but it's true!! i didn't believe too till i experienced it myself! thank God for His Grace! i'm now an 'official' child-of-God!

with all the joyful sharing and prayers following immediately after my baptism, i was so overwhelmed by all the love around! not to mention, my whole family was there to witness the whole process, despite standing the warm hot sun! honestly, this picture of having the whole family to be even 'appearing' in church with me was something i've never dared to dream of, let alone witnessing my baptism.. yet, on this day - 29 August 2009, it's made possible!! All Thanks and Glory to God in the Highest!

and to symbolise this significant day in my Christian walk, i'm finally wearing my birthday gift - a heart pendant with a Cross! my mum gave it to me on my 21st birthday, in midst of all the anti-church proscecution from family.. it was really a blessed surprise gift - how much i wanted to wear it to 'declare' my faith conversion, yet i just didnt feel right about such declaration then.. i didn't want to do it in 'impulse' act of fashion or rebellion. ... for 9yrs, i kept it.. every chinese new yr when i spring-cleaned my 'treasures', i wonder when will i ever be wearing it.. and I'M WEAR IT TODAY! u cannot imagine my joy of wearing it now, to me it's a symbol of 'WITH GOD,ALL IS POSSIBLE'.. after being Christian for 15yrs, i've finally gotten approvals and blessings from my family to be a Christian, to be baptised! i'm now an 'official' child-of-God!! What great joy it is!!

from this day on, NEW JOURNEY is just starting! i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Glory and Praise to God!!


Matt 5:13-14
You are the salt of the earth.. You are the light of the world

Deut 32:10
In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye

2Cor 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

28 Aug 09 - Somthing's brewing..

time now is 1.34am. in exact 12hrs later, i'll be celebrating my big day - baptism after a 15yrs wait.. somehow, the reality of baptism had not set in till i was rushing around in amk hub for a white blouse just now (dont worry, i've gotten my new white blouse in that 1hr!) *that's efficient shopping!*

when the night is quiet and everything is still now, i confess.. i'm afraid for any hipcup tmr. be it 'spiritual resistance' or 'coincidental', my mum was called to work tmr morning but she will try to leave on time for my baptism whereas my sis, who will be our driver for the day,suddenly has been feeling sick these 2 days (she claimed something is meddling with her health) *talk about superstitious, my sis can really hit the charts**even if it's something, i know and i know my God is Greater to overcome all! Praise the Lord!!*.. well,people, keep praying for me and my family.. with my upcoming baptism- such a great event and breakthrough in spiritual realm, i really can rely on God's protection to go through it, for my family and myself..

another thing of mind is.. u-know-what..
just few nights ago, i was telling myself.. after evaluating the situation and consolidating all ye comments, i kinda give up on guys. it's not that i'm waiting for B to return or using B as comparison (i kinda tired of going thru such relationship again)... despite the fact i've 'lowered' my requirements, i doubt anyone in current standard of 'boys'(note: i dun even call them 'men') can fulfil.. and with my new work life, i simply have no time to socialise as before.. *if anything is to happen, it really has to be the work of God!*

yet, to my surprise.. everyone seems to know and been praying for a good relationship for me.. gosh, am i that 'obviously' desperate or have i become a well-known 'hard-to-please' bachelorette? with their faith and your prayers, i felt the tingle of faith-at-work.. just as i'm about to shut this door, u people keep putting the door-stopper down.. then again, though i know God is eager to answer this prayer, but frankly speaking.. i've no faith to receive.. being logical and rationale, i really dont see how and who He'd plan.. perhaps B would really just return?? ... i really need you people to strenghten my faith in this..



James 5: 15
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.

23 Aug 09 - Wat a 'taiwan' morning

with everyone's out on a cool sunday morning, leaving me alone at home, i was flicking through the tv channels, lazing my time before i decided to get my butt up in re-arranging my room.. and ARGH!! why do i have to see this TAIWAN lifestyle programme!?!?

when the programme started, with a mere look at the roads and roadside trees, i JUST KNEW it's taiwan! *thanks, man, it really helps in curing my homesickness*.. and the programme is called 'HOMETOWN'.. what the heck!! it's featuring my 'usual living place' - 台北東區! it's really convenient staying there with all the food and shopping and of course, standard of living is comparative higher in that area.. what the heck, really, this is definityly NOT helping me at all! *someone, quick! get me the airtickets to taipei after my baptism - my baptism gift?!?*

as when i thought i can 'rest' at commercial break, even the cityfind's commercial is promoting taiwan! WHAT THE HECK! enough is enough! can somone tell the media to stop promoting taiwan?? why not japan or korea?!? ... j, you really have to get over it! no more talking like a taiwanese, no more thinking about taiwan and no more missing taiwanese food and lifestyle!! you gonna kill yourself if you continue... not to mention, you'll experience this missing cycle every 6 months!! *someone, help me!!!*

well, it's not all bad, at least i've learnt this idiom that describes me - 秀外慧中!! hhaahh.. for those of you who are weak in manadarin, go google it! :P

ok ok, time for durian lunch then to work in my room~~ work day today

22 Aug 09 - New life... to shepherd?

i'm kinda excited for my coming baptism.. this time, well.. somehow.. it's kinda going slow n steady - i just finished my baptism class and the BIG DAY is only 7 days away! *cross fingers for no hipcups* .. finally, after 15yrs as Christian, my big day is coming :) for me, baptism is really once-in-lifetime, much more than marriage *it's even bigger than marriage itself!*.. cos marriage u can 're-marry', if u know what i mean whereas baptism is really ONCE-in-a-lifetime, unless you can live twice a lifetime.. personally, baptism is of equal importance as birth and death (in fact, baptism IS about death in old and let new life begins!)

for a new life, i've started a new Bible, a new way of taking notes and i'm looking forward to a new lifestyle - a PRAYERFUL commitment with PASSION!

this afternoon, for some reasons which i'm oblivious to, my ministry leader started to spur me to rise up in my church commitment.. of course, training and mentoring will be provided.. but guess what's my reply? "then, what if i've to fly to taiwan?" *good job,J, what an excellent irresponsible excuse* ... then after service, during cellgroup fellowship, my new cgl probed me into this area too.. ok, what's the matter with people these days? dont they know i'm not ready to be leading a group, let alone shepherding souls into His Kingdom - that's a GREAT accountability for ETERNAL value! .... i just feel i'm not ready, inadequate to take accountability for anyone now, let alone preaching and sharing to the group.. come'on, i've not even finished reading the Bible as i expected to.

is this really Your Will, Jesus? at this time?? with this stage of mine??? *my confidence level now is really record low*.. yet my greatest fear is unable to be accountable for the J i've called to be.. but, are You certain this is my calling??

.....ok, Lord, guide me to Thy Plan according to Your Word.. let my eyes be open to see Your Plan unfolds, and my hands to manifest Your Glory! let Your Will be done.. Amen.


1 Sam 17:40
Then David took his shepherd's staff, selected five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the pocket of his shepherd's pack, and with his sling in his hand approached Goliath.

21 Aug 09 - Flattered yet ...

Sometimes i do wonder.. i should be married by now.. with my easy-to-maintain lifestyle and accommodating personality, it's only right that i should be at least attached~ :P

didn’t i share i’ve been missing Taiwan these days? Well, missing translated into action – i gave a call to my old Taiwanese friend (u'll remember him from my past blog entries).. it’s been a long time since we chatted (cos of typhoon we didn’t manage to meet up in my last trip).. as usual his glib tongue with encouragement was really kind to my ears.. kinda flattered to know he’s ‘holding onto’ the pact for 20th Jan 2011, but somehow ... it does not bring peace to my heart..

Ok, allow me to qualify myself – i’m not saying he’s not compatible or not good..(come’on, i’ve known this guy for close to 2decades – how bad can he be?) He really dotes on me and i know he’ll treat me well.. but perhaps.. it’s just not possible.. well, we tried to start a relationship years ago, before mr B, and it did not work out. What makes you think it’s possible now, with my additional specifications? Fyi, he’s not passed the first C of the 5Cs.. anyway, i really enjoyed my chat with him last night (better than sending those annoying sms!)

.. why am i pondering now?... i wonder what’s the problem– my overwhelming friendly character? His Timing? Or my 5Cs??


Matt 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

20 Aug 09 - Another good lunch

guess who did i meet this lunch?

first impression = familiar + a confirmation self-thought that he's 101% taiwanese .. and why is he keep looking at my direction??... after collecting my starbucks drink, he finally acknowledged me and oh my goodness! no wonder he's so familiar and so taiwanese!! my secondary sch brother, who is 18days younger than me!!! trust me, i was SO HAPPY to see him again! (our last meeting was .. 2yrs ago?)

very quickly i was engrossed with my conversation with him, TOTALLY IGNORING my office lunch group which my boss was in. i know it's kinda 'rude' to excuse myself from the whole coffee break but what do i care?! it's my lunch hr! not to mention, i'm so completely at ease in the conversation with my bro, though we were at the next table to my office group! i suppose this was the first time they saw me laughing with my head off and chatting so fluently, which i can never do in office!

we chatted.. we really chatted! he's already married (i knew that but i also complaint why was i not invited and his convenient reason - he was busy with weddings at 2 locations -he's a taiwanese marrying a singaporean; now turned singaporean).. how he teased me just like school times *as usual - leopard never changes its spots* and how i 'pleaded' him to introduce good taiwanese guys before i'm left on the shelf..ahahaa... all in all, we really had a great hearty chat over his life, mine and taiwan... in fact, i would rather stayed in starbucks all day than to return to work :P

... taiwan.. taiwanese.. why does J have such strong affinity to this country and its people, since secondary school days? (some of my classmates are taiwanese!).. and oh, upon knowing i just came back from taiwan (with typhoon), he nagged at me abt 'my powers'.. cos there was once when i went taiwan with him (he's returning to his hometown), there was typhoon too.. *hey, it's really coincident, though i dun believe it that.. haha* oh man, i really missing taiwan now.. quick, someone, quick find me a good taiwanese guy who can take care of me without me having to work in taiwan!!

19 Aug 09 - Tips for new employee

tip for new employee:

1) titbits/snacks
in every office, every desk, there has to be some drawers of titbits hidden away.. as long as you have or like snacks, you can start an conversation so easily with your colleagues..

this is what happened at lunch today.. must be one of the rare opportunities where my boss was not able to lunch with the group (trust me, i was kinda happy abt it~) ..finally only me and the girls, same level.. finally i had a good lunch today.. just a short trip to the boring canteen, i was able to share common topics with the girls.. for the 'first time' i'm finally chatting at ease over lunch!! trust me, i was a 'mute' for past 2 days cos my boss always seem to be chatting..

2) blunt honesty to fellow colleagues (NOT boss!)
thanks to my boss' absence, i was able to start small chat with my fellow colleague - direct colleague... and u know me, being the j i am, i kinda 'pour out my woes' to get the foot-at-the-door (i really dont like to bottle things within). i've learnt when you are willing to put yourself down first, pple will be opened to you.. and she did! i'm really surprised she's also feel the stress and depression of working with our boss! (trust me - her expectation is REALLY HIGH; no wonder she's still single!) when i shared my depressing first day, she could totally relate to that and was so apologetic for my experience(though it's not her fault)! *gosh, i really wonder how she survived the past 1.5yrs working with her (and my VP - another perfectionist)!*

furthermore, i also confided in her that i dont like to lunch with boss.. and SHE AGREES! *i was like ahuh?!* how can this girl survives 1.5yrs under that depressing work expectations, and uncomfortable lunch hours!! oh man, i really admire her 'professionalism' in tolerance.. anyway, i've really kinda happy now.. at least i've found an alliance to fight the depressing work expectations from our bosses!!

btw.. i realised i didn't specify my 'requirement' of new boss when i was praying for new job hence i'm here... but i sure have been praying past 2 days for a breakthrough in this new work environment.. and so a breakthrough!

another evidence of POWER IN PRAYER! God is really still in prayer-answering business!!

17 Aug 09 - Dont ask me abt my first day

i didn't attend Bible class tonight.. feeling so down that i just came back home..

why down? i cant explain but i know the contributing factors -
1) my first day at new work place, new responsibility.. as much as i'd like to learn more new things, enhance my work experience but.. somehow.. i'm just not sure if i can handle the change.. after being in SAP for past yrs, i kinda miss the team today.. miss the joy and jokes we cracked in midst of stress.. i wonder if i'd ever find a team like them again.. back in my new environment, it's a small team and i'm still trying to adapt to their 'style'..

i know many of you have told me i'll make it, not to worry.. but i really feel the great wall of J in my heart.. a hurdle which i know i've to overcome the sooner the better..

2) emotionally, i escaped into my dream of rest.. a place where i can drop all i am and rest.. after my hello kitty room's pics being posted, my group of girlfriends keep bugging me to organise a trip to taiwan.. to be honest, i really dont want to bring people to taiwan.. not unless he/she can take care of his/her own travel plan.. all i want to do in taiwan is to rest, really rest, and live day-to-day normally like taiwanese, not as tourist (i wonder how am i going to tell them, but that's for the future to worry).. i'm already missing taiwan on my first day of work, not to mention i just came back~*what a 'good' job,J :(*

3) few days ago i heard a true account of a broken-heart.. i'm really surpised yet honoured to share her tears and pain of fallen down from high hope of marriage.. that pain.. dont i just KNOW THAT PAIN! it just hurts so much for no reason given.. a stab so deep into the heart from someone who once promised to bring happiness and loved to make us laugh, yet now bringing us tears and hurt of enormous excruciation.. for 2hrs i tried to cheer up her by sharing my depression story (thank God, He never wastes my life experience)..i know the recovery journey has just started for her, it's really painful to see your friend being casted down like this, after a great joyful hope of marriage.. i pray she'll be strong and cheerful again.. the cheerful lady i have known..

guys, why do you like to commit without responsibility? don't your words mean anything to you? you're supposed to be man of word, yet your words are empty without weight.. do you not know the heart who agreed to your proposal has commited her life in your hands, by your words? in case you do not know - despite our tears in our eyes and blood in our hearts, we still worry for you, asking friends to take care of you when we couldn't? how do you bear to hurt a heart who love you so much??

14 Aug 09 - J is really very blessed!

thank God for all the love surrounds me and i'm not talking 'spiritually'.. today is my last day of work in my current company, before i move onto a new environment on monday.. cant imagine the last minute tasks my internal clients entrusted to me, and how hard i tried to bring an end to my cases on hand (seriously, i dont mind their last minute requests, cos i know they kinda trust me to do it *yes i know i'm egoist*)..anyway, it's a fire-fighting day (as usual) even though i should be 'lazing around' for handover..

my boss arranged a department lunch at a fancy jap restaurant, but i kinda feel uneasy for her nice gesture.. besides her aggressiveness, she is a very nice boss; i kinda feel bad about leaving .. i started to miss the team even before i leave.. before long, i was called into a meeting.. things just got so busy that i totally forgotten my farewell treats to all~! *yes, i was surprisingly that busy on my last day of work* (my girlfriends had to remind me that my boxes of ice-cream are still in the fridge!).. like a 'no-time' santa claus, i did a 'quick pass around' distribution the moment i stepped out of the meeting room.. quite 'insincere' but hey, i've no time ok?

you know what, my dear colleagues - my usual group of girls, waited for my meeting to end (which ended at 630pm) to surprise me with a very very very sweet gift! cant tell you how much i love it! a blacelet with a story behind, our story~! not to mention that i love dragonfly~!for that 2mins, i was really very touched despite of their 'complaints' that they've waited me for 1hr.. if not for i've to rush to handover my work, i'd have teared then.. it's freaking nice! and freaking meaningful!! *see, girlfriends are so much better than guys.. haha* i love you babes!!

12 Aug 09 - Discovery Taiwan

今早起床, 家裡只有菁一人與2只狗共處.. 約了老爸吃新加坡式的粗茶淡粥早午餐, 就趕緊把這幾天的髒衣服洗一洗 (為甚麼今天天氣這麼悶熱炎熱?), 終於可以在沙發上休息..

短短幾天的台灣"台北"之旅就這樣忡忡地結束了.. 印象中這趟真的是波折重重..
1) 原本短短的航程成了漫長的等候. 真的是人算不如天算.. *抵達飯店時已經是凌晨4點了!菁一天的精力已經耗盡*
2) 原本想好好讓自己休息卻成了小跟班，帶著媽媽與姑姑去完成她們購物使命，結果弄了一身的痠痛.. 附近有位推拿按摩師甚至透露說菁有小小中暑了.. *相信菁, 當你精疲力盡時, 孝敬父母真的是對身心言語的極大考驗* *望著帶回來的'戰利品'不禁覺得住菁家的人真的不用怕餓死, 買回來的食物簡直是堆積如山!!*

這趟也讓菁更了解自己..
1) 菁喜歡聽華語講道
范大陵長老的幽默加上對主耶穌的敬畏真的讓我享受在其中.. 華語的禱告+英語的回應還真的是別一番的經驗.. 甚至連對耶和華一竅不通的媽媽和姑姑都享受在風趣的講道裡. 感謝天主的安排 - 通過范長老的講道,讓祂的話語像種子似的在她們心裡播種.

2) 菁真的很疼愛Hugo
通常女生逛街時都會為心上人買東西- 媽媽幫家人購物;女友幫男友購物.. 但不管是衣服或食物, 菁沒有心情去理會,沒有閒情逛街.. 唯有一樣, 不管在街頭巷尾或隱密角落, 菁的雷達感應終能找到 - 寵物店. 雖然大同小異, 但一踏進寵物店, 菁終有衝動幫寶貝Hugo增添些有的沒的.. 菁的寶貝簡直是菁的'男友'嘛!沒買東西給自己卻買了許多寶貝的小小食品.

3) 菁真的很得人喜愛
菁擁有良好的人際關係真的得感恩於神對菁的寵愛恩典.. 在台灣, 時不時會有朋友來電問候與關心-'今天要去哪裡/怎麼安排','今天開心嗎','你現在在哪裡'等等.. 菁這些3天在台灣接的來電通話遠遠超過菁在新加坡1個月的來電次數! *新加坡人為甚麼不會撥電情切問候, 反而喜歡傳那麻煩的簡訊?*

4) 菁真的不了解自己
一向健談的菁也許只是在掩蓋自己對感情的畏怯.. 某人問菁是否喜歡他, 菁遲遲不知怎麼回答.. 喜歡又怎麼樣? 雖然對方符合"5大條件", 但菁能怎麼確定哪是神的安排? 雖然渴望一雙強有力的擁抱撫著菁, 但菁自問是否有信心去接受這份愛護.. 更何況, 有人曾經說菁很容易得人疼愛, 那菁又該怎麼確認對方的誠心呢? .. 種種的問號, 種種的不知所措.. 至少某些人敢於承認雖然有好感但還沒勇氣規劃婚姻, 那一輩子的責任 (菁相信這些人有朝一日會成為體貼的依靠; 他的妻子真的得福了)..菁呢? 菁就像站在糖果店外的小孩渴望及期待店裡那些令瑯滿目的甜點,卻沒勇氣踏進店裡以近距離地選擇, 更沒有信心去領取店主要贈送的禮物.. 這就是菁吧 - 菁真的怕了'感情'..


瞧, 菁的Facebook 你單身的原因心理測驗結論:太過自負
似乎美女的一切標準你都具備了，姣好的身材、美好的面容……不錯，這些都是你的優勢，但你也要注意，這也可能造成你在愛情上被動的局面。
單身的你何時會開始戀愛?心理測驗，32-44分：因為換工作或換學校，而有了邂逅機會
基本上對於愛情，你仍然抱著積極進取的態度。你是個比較嚴謹的人，一見鍾情的浪漫故事不可能會發生，但是如果仔細觀察身邊的異性朋友，其實墜入情網的機會也蠻多的。當你換新工作或換學校時，邂逅機會就會出現了。換句話說就是當生活環境改變時，也就是愛神找上你的時候。*菁知道墜入情網的機會是蠻多ㄚ, 但關鍵是菁能勇敢接受嗎?*

這時菁想起Patty Smith的這首歌 - Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

7 Aug 09 - Tyhoon Morakot 莫拉克

ok this is the time time that i 'fear' of flight delay or cancelled.. i know i should be concerned of being in taiwan in midst of my great dear friend - typhoon Morakot 莫拉克 (which means "emerald" in Thai) who is really strong and a possible Grade15 at its strongest.. but at least if i'm there in taiwan, i'd know what to do, not being trapped at home now..yet, no news of flight delay or cancellation... flight will still proceed as normal.. perhaps cos morakot is only expected to onboard mainland on 8aug 0500hrs (wind force now is already strong at Grade10 at seashore places and Grade7 at taipei city!)...

sigh.. i really wonder if it's abt me.. my dear friend just want to demostrate her great powers in front of me.. i mean, there're always typhoons in taiwan irregardless of my visit, but every time i visit during this season, they just have to be a real strong typhoon with such power to intimidate/threaten people.. *gosh, they are really like to show-off~*

with my laptop and tvbs news on tv at this early hour (7am), i'm really trying to track this typhoon's update.. and now, the mrt in taipei city has malfunctioned.. oh great.. i tell you, when typhoon comes, transportation is a REAL concern and now even the mrt is down.. i wonder if it'll be ok when i arrive later today or when morakot arrives tmr...

whatever.. the more i dwell, the deeper i sink.. so by faith, i will trust my God for all things is to come. maybe it's also good if i stay in my hello-kitty room to chill out with lotsa titbits.. come'on, we are all living by faith every day - be it trusting the lift to move up n down, crossing the roads with faith that most motorists will obey the traffic rules.. see, so i will live by faith to trust my God to provide and arrange all that is to come! AMEN!

**********

i thank God for His protection- He really plans EVERY step of my life into every DETAILS~!

just before i reached airport, my friend who is also boarding the same flight, called to inform flight re-timed due to typhoon. trust me, i kinda expected it but still, cant deny my disappointment..

i know it's dangerous with a grade 12 typhoon (it grew stronger in that past 3hrs).. but .. remember last yr? i was so-close-yet-so-far with another typhoon? now.. i only can say, God really protects me despite my 'rebellious passion' to get near strong typhoon.. He only allows me to be near moderate typhoon, below grade5.. *this is one blessing which i really have to learn to appreciate* gonna miss this strong friend of mine, even though it's slow moving across taiwan *waiting and looking for me?*..

had to make some informative calls and smses to my taiwan friends on this delay, and also that house-owner whose rooms i'm renting.. surprisingly he's VERY NICE over the phone this time, with patience and concern! he even tried to have small chat to assure me he'll wait wait for me?! *hmm..that does sound weird* but anyway, he'll pick us from airport at 0130hrs later tonight when my flight arrives in taipei..*is this a 'make-it-up'?* anyway, with the disappointment of missing my good friend, i really dun have much thoughts to skepticism..

see, people, i told you dont need to worry about me.. i know everything will be well taken care of.. just walk on and trust the Lord :)

and btw, did i tell you i bought the travel insurance VERY LAST MINUTE yesterday (just suddenly have the feeling i should though i normally wont buy travel insurance).. and now cos of this last minute coverage, i can claim against this more than 6hrs flight delay~ :)

well, sometimes, in fact most of the time, J, you just have to listen and trust the Holy Spirit who impresses your heart and guides your way! cant help feeling so close to this verse..

Prov 19:21

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

箴 言 19:21

人 心 多 有 計 謀 ； 惟 有 耶 和 華 的 籌 算 才 能 立 定 。

6 Aug 09 - No red carpet, but Tyhoon, to receive me

i should date this entry to be 4 aug 09, cos it was that day when i received sms from my taiwan friend - "感謝妳帶了2顆颱風來解缺水危機, 這麼多年沒缺席過, 你真的是太神奇了..呵呵" immediately, i went online to verify such accusation, and alas~ it's TRUE! 2 tyhoons are heading taiwan and expected to come near on 7th aug (my arrival date to taiwan!!) ..what a honour to be received by God's great creation upon arrival~! a mixture of 'happiness' cos i'm so blessed by God to bring such strong winds whenever i visit taiwan (makes me feel like i'm X-men Storm) and 'guilt' cos i know my friends will be busy and even complaining at me again (as if i do have such power).

anyway, i didn't have time to follow the news till just now.. wow, what a beauty in the sky~!

As per 6aug09 9am news, Tyhoon 莫拉克 is not stable yet, tends to be stronger as it travels towards Taiwan. together with it, rain pours will be heaviest on 7aug.. *gosh, am i not convinced of my affinity with typhoons* .. my taiwan friend sms again - "你這個小妖精, 小颱風變大風吹了, 北部很危險,到南部還安全點,變強颱我就不能離開隊上了, 只好找你來對上坐囉.. 我快笑不出來了…"

nevertheless, dont worry my friends.. i'm still going taiwan to enjoy such breeze and see you back in singapore soon~!! miz you all!

4 Aug 09 - Isaiah verse 19

Isa 41:19.. the verse just came onto me when we were praying for a Word into our lives.. (fyi,i was having overnight prayer meeting just now).. in my hesitation with a pinch of skepticism, i wonder if it's His Word for me.. i'm sorry, i know i should be bold to receive His Word (afterall we prayed for it) but somehow.. i procrastinated.. even worse, doubt on this gift.. *hey,i'm not that 'holy christian' afterall*.. and i even harboured a mini battlle within - shall i step out to receive or remain where i was to withhold.. in the end, i kinda disappointed with myself.. sometimes i do think i'm too rationalised for my own good.. :(

in my own quiet time, i wondered (note: 'i wonder' = my thoughts, not His Revelation) if it's Isa 43:19.. cos the only deep impression i had was Isaiah + verse 19.. either chapter 41 or 43?? in the end i looked up both verses in the Bible..
Isa 41:19
I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, the myrtle and the oil tree;
I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine and the box tree together
Isa 43:19
Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

hmm.. Isa41:18 is one of the popular promises.. but i really dont understand Isa 41:19, though Isa 43:19 is pretty straightforward.. is there any 'Joseph' in my midst who can explain to me?? if you cant, please help by praying to God to reveal more and clarity to me, thanks!


Isa 41:18
I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs.

3 Aug 09 - Insights vs Truth

disclamation:
1) one can only knows God to the extent God is willing to reveal Himself.
2) Rom 1: 20 "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

looking at the 2 disclamations above, it can be quite contradicting, is it not? the scriptures and encounters with God, these are the common modes of knowing God in our modern rationale world. yet, how much can we know Him unless He reveals Himself, His boundless Greatness and infinte Wisdom to us? i mean, even if u swallow down the whole Bible or walk daily in habitual fellowship with God (like Enoch in Gen 5:24), God is more and beyond the inspired words itself! just like how i've experienced Him last year, words and languages simply cannot contain His Glory! His Greatness knows no boundary, way beyond what we can imagine or comprehend!

then again, have you ever seen nature-at-work? let's say sunrise/ sunset? (personally i love sunrise - despite the agonizing battle with sleep during the antagonising wait for dawn, i can only say the majesty and beauty of sunrise worths every minute of it! i really really love sunrise~) or have you ever been amazed by the tranquility of 'Mother Nature' around us? Is it not thrilling to see the wonders of science discovering the majesty of His Wonders?! all are creations of God, given by God to evidently display His Divinity in our midst! even the greatest scientist einstein admitted there is a greater power at work than science itself! truly, no one can say he is great for somewhat somewhere in every heart knows without excuse that He who creates all is greater than all!

yet through it all, we are merely touching the surface of His Awesome Power, and worse still, we tend to be satisfied at having these little outbursts of insights instead of pressing onto the Truth. 'insights' and 'Truth' - in theology terms, it's 'general revelation' and 'special revelation'.. everyone has a conscience within to do good, to act morally right (ie general/ natural revelation), but there's a greater pull factor than conscience - Jesus Christ Himself draws, guides and reconciles the Godliness (ie special revelation) which was given in everyone of us during our creation. sounds profound? Again, i'm not saying Christians are holy, but we are responding to a Higher Calling which beckons us onto Creator's Holiness!

1Cor 2:14 says "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." of course, i'm not saying you are foolish, but i have learnt and learned that there are some things/issues which no matter how i explain or how pple explain to me, unless God unveils my eyes and blow my mind off to it, it remains a profound mystery/foolish concept in place of the Reality of His Supreme Sovereignty.

that's why i love theology - the study of nature of God and His Truth!
Thanks be to God in the Highest!


Jeremiah 33:2-3
This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Prov 19:20-21
Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.
There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.