30 Nov 10 - perhaps i'm fated to be a 'long-distance rship' partner..

for those who have not been informed (i only told a few close frens anyway) - guoqing made a sudden decision to 'take a rest' to singapore, and not surprising my family 'adopted' him with pleasure.. *seriously,i feel so unfair for my darling cos their 'reaction' to guoqing is so different from his!* anyway, their reason is becos they've known guoqing over a decade (which is true~) .. ok, so be it.. anyway, i know i only regard guoqing as old good friend, as a brother perhaps.. if anything is to happen, it would have happen at the proposal~

for now, i'm happy to be alone, pampered by myself and close friends. not to forget i've been working on long crazy hours (even on sat) hence my tiredness and no inspiration to blog. i did an calculation: my average man-hour in Nov10 is 10hrs per day! u guys ve to give in to this crazy workaholic j :) well, it is also in this 'tough time' that i really enjoy my work, really learn a lot and get to know more singapore colleagues. (cos my portfolio was southeast asia, excluding singapore, now i'm basically managing the damn whole SEA alone!) trust me, singaporeans are bitchy fussy demanding people! freaking damn challenging~ and REWARDING! if only i've a bathroom in office, i can practically LIVE IN OFFICE 24x7!! *my boss agreed that my son can live with me in office* seriously~ life without angie is madness. then again, working long hours is my normal life and i just cant leave without completing my work~ even if it's just an email response left to do. besides working in auo, i think i'm the happiest here through my past employments.

coming back to guoqing's stay with my family... i'm not saying that he's not welcomed but .. somehow i rather be alone with my work and hugo, than having him around with all my family fussing over him. i'm not saying i'm jealous.. but i'm quite upset for my darling.. besides i dont like the feeling of being dependent on, i dont like the feeling of being 'cared for', at least not 24hrs! frankly, i rather not seeing my partner for months than to see him everyday~ perhaps i'm still immature but i really enjoy being alone in one place, only to meet my partner after mths of rescheduling and planning *i'm nuts, i know* however nutty, this is really what i learnt anout myself - i need a very big personal space with strong trust and faith in rship.

impossible? ya - that is why i'm still unattached, and i doubt i'd ever be~ anway i dont freaking give a damn to whatever 'rship'/courtship and even marriage now.. they are mere labels of commercial fantasy. i'm really at ease and happy even if i had given up a tree for the whole forest.. oh please, i just cant be bothered now~heck!