22 Aug 09 - New life... to shepherd?

i'm kinda excited for my coming baptism.. this time, well.. somehow.. it's kinda going slow n steady - i just finished my baptism class and the BIG DAY is only 7 days away! *cross fingers for no hipcups* .. finally, after 15yrs as Christian, my big day is coming :) for me, baptism is really once-in-lifetime, much more than marriage *it's even bigger than marriage itself!*.. cos marriage u can 're-marry', if u know what i mean whereas baptism is really ONCE-in-a-lifetime, unless you can live twice a lifetime.. personally, baptism is of equal importance as birth and death (in fact, baptism IS about death in old and let new life begins!)

for a new life, i've started a new Bible, a new way of taking notes and i'm looking forward to a new lifestyle - a PRAYERFUL commitment with PASSION!

this afternoon, for some reasons which i'm oblivious to, my ministry leader started to spur me to rise up in my church commitment.. of course, training and mentoring will be provided.. but guess what's my reply? "then, what if i've to fly to taiwan?" *good job,J, what an excellent irresponsible excuse* ... then after service, during cellgroup fellowship, my new cgl probed me into this area too.. ok, what's the matter with people these days? dont they know i'm not ready to be leading a group, let alone shepherding souls into His Kingdom - that's a GREAT accountability for ETERNAL value! .... i just feel i'm not ready, inadequate to take accountability for anyone now, let alone preaching and sharing to the group.. come'on, i've not even finished reading the Bible as i expected to.

is this really Your Will, Jesus? at this time?? with this stage of mine??? *my confidence level now is really record low*.. yet my greatest fear is unable to be accountable for the J i've called to be.. but, are You certain this is my calling??

.....ok, Lord, guide me to Thy Plan according to Your Word.. let my eyes be open to see Your Plan unfolds, and my hands to manifest Your Glory! let Your Will be done.. Amen.


1 Sam 17:40
Then David took his shepherd's staff, selected five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the pocket of his shepherd's pack, and with his sling in his hand approached Goliath.