i was browsing through my facebook when i saw B's status update to 'engaged'.. in that instant, i indeed felt the pinch.. yes, a pinch in heart.. am i affected? of course, i'm affected! *hey i'm human ok* but what can i say, i 'trained' that guy well.. not to forget, his current gf is 7yrs older than him, he has better hold his word to commit in this relationship lest he'd really let the poor girl down.. and i really prayed for him n his gf to work well (am i good or am i good in 'training' boys into men? and am i blessed or am i blessed that God really answers my prayers - i mean it, He really answers my prayers~)
somehow, it still took me 5mins to settle my emotions - happy for them or sad for myself. people i'm fine, dont worry.. after the 5mins, i'm quite 'pleased' with myself actually - every ex-bf i had will get married with the gf after me *blessed is the girl after me~*.. either i've trained them well in how to commit into relationship so they can take care of future gf or how to be a real man so they can stop hurting another heart. well, at least they have all settled down now, so i should be glad for them, even though it could have been with me (1yr vs 4yrs).. hehe...
trust me, i really do wonder if i'm just too capable to take care of myself.. so able that no guy seems to be able to take care of me, or thinks i'm 'too high' for them.. haha, some friends think i've the natural instinct to take care of people, and quite good in 'leadership' too.. all in all, i'm a natural 'mother' (ask my hugo- he can vouch for that!) hence.. i need a stronger 'father' to match to my strong motherly instinct..sigh..unless men rises up to their calling in commitment, where to find such strong fatherly character?hmm.. i think i should start a school - to train guys into men!
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after the above blog entry, i went to facebook and got this timely revelation:
Janet got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...
... that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.
That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one...It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.
what can i say.. my Lord Jesus Christ is watching over me now, inside and outside! :)
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