my family says i've too much saliva hence my frequent chokes.. but when i started coughing, choked and suffocated all out of a sudden, while i was watching tv (not even talking).. they agree i'm going to die soon.. what great family support i have.
yet i cant deny- everytime i coughed+choked like this, i know i'm so near death as i really had to breathe and grasp air with all my might, whatever i've left in my physical. trust me, if u ever seen someone choked to death, yes that's me when i was struggling to breathe..
times like this i cant help wondering when will i ever die.. when will i run out of this strength to breathe so hard so vitally.. seriously, i really wish those of you who doubt my 'sickness' can see me in that state, just to justify myself.. if i'm older (weaker) i wonder if i've the strength to grasp for air when my lungs are so crushed and suffocated.. it's either i'd die of asthma or bad cough/choke. i can even tell you my season of death = end of year where cold wind dominate the air..
to help myself, i have already placed curfew at 8pm on myself... see, i'm really taking care of myself~
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