time's now 11:55pm.. i've been wearing this thick SAP windbreaker over my long sleeves pypamas and long pants for past 2hrs in this cool night where everyone is enjoying a good cooling sleep, except me.. i'm sneezing, choking and my nose has been running and blocking.. what an experience to have this every night~ (even after taking my all-powerful yellow flu pill)
qn of faith comes to my battling mind.. what have i been doing? ever since my return from HKG, i've been sick with fever, sorethroat, cough and flu.. 4 out of 6 symptoms for H1N1.. ya, and i've not been to a western doc for consultant..but what if, it's H1N1?? well, i was 'lucky' enough to have dengue, out of the so many people.. i'm not surprised if so.. and not to worry, in fact H1N1 hsa become so common that likelihood is now more than 25%... 'common flu' just a bit prolonged..
i'm not dying in physical.. i know i wont die.. but i'm dying in spiritual. cos of this cold air curfew and nightly battle, i've not been attending cellgroup meetings (8pm), evening service (5-7.30pm) and even cant make it for morning services (10am).. basically if i would to rate my spiritual life, it's a big fat ZERO dead.
without social support (and understanding), no one inspires me biblically.. my only prayer is when i'm praying in my dreams, and i was really praying aloud - i can hear in my subconcious waking state! the Word? i try to remember what i had read before.. new reading? zero.. so what does that make me? spiritual death?? i've been dead 'physically', emotionally and now spiritually?? wow.. anyone wants to trade my interesting life?
very often, i thought of ending my whining blog and start something healthy to feed my spirit, but .. i'll be stucked.. what can i share? bible verse? God's promises? or inspirations?? give praise and thanks to God (which i know i should - 1 Thess 5:18)? .... now i know how great Jesus is when He chose to sacrifice His Life for us - it's not easy to keep following the will of God, esp when we are in sickness and sufferings. Great is His Love for us!
Don't be too discouraged. Soon, you will see yourself back to normal. Jesus is watching over you. You won't die spiritually and might even come out even stronger.
ReplyDeleteAs what you hv shared- Give thanks to God=
1 Thess 5:18
1. A less stressful job
2. Able to work from home
3. Got to know your father and experience his love in a deeper way.
4. More time with your loved ones.
5. Pple who came out of the blues to send you smses, emails and calls. You are not alone in this :-)
6. More time to do your own stuff.
Wanna to encourage you with this video:
COUNT YOUR BLESSING !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQPmY4nIjVE&feature=related
Take Care,
J.
just wondering - are u signing off as J or directing to me?
ReplyDeleteyes, count my blessings.. i do have alot of blessings, despite the distrust and skepical eyes of someone i'm supposed to be accountable to.. but somehow, i'm beginning to wonder if i'm called to be in this group. afterall, not all people can click with all people