i cant sleep.. scare to sleep n i know i cant take my sleep pills forever..
i didnt take last night n i kept dreaming of minwei the whole night.. i was in taiwan looking for him, lost my way.. totally lost.. i hugged tight to hugo (yes, he was in the dream just as he was beside me physically), longing for my darling (his 'dad'; he claimed hugo to be his 'son') i cried helplessly on the street.. my heart pained so much that i woke up in tears. for the rest of the night, i hugged hugo so close to my chest n kept going to n fro that dream.. i was so scare that i remember i woke up in shivers.. so much so that i cant help but to take my pills to stablise myself.
i really miss minwei.. i know he's in US this wk cos of his msn updates (i know i shouldn't be concerned but..) so much missing that my heart aches the same as it first hurt. i'm so awake now, even though i know i'm tired. i simply cant sleep.. i really didnt want to take the pills but i know i have to, after this blog entry.
yes, people, i hear you. i know it's silly to wait for someone who might not return but this is what i've decided... what is 4 months compared to the years that i will be waiting for this miracle? after all, how can i 'love' another person while still missing and deep in love with minwei? minwei minwei.. this names has been calling in my mind for days, esp today.. i really miss him so much, what should i do?
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