12 Mar 09 - Nearly 101%

i'm not sure if i'll say alot tonight. but i just feel like voicing..

was chatting with my cg friend while she sent me home just now.. she is also single, sucessful (as a regional director) and single.. guess how she spends her free time? ... watching movies alone and staying at home to watch those tv serials.. and she just simply dont feel like going to town (so do I) and the furthest we hang out is perhaps AMK Hub and Bishan!! i can really relate to her! how true - i'd rather spend my time near my house, than to travel to town unless really really necessary.. (perhaps my depression really affected my perspective.. i used to be a social butterfly who just cant stay at home for long.. bosco is my best witness - we used to argue about going out to town.) well, for better or for worse now, i really enjoy spending more time at home, even though home alone.. finally my flittering feet are able to stay at home, finally my mum cant call me a butterfly anymore.. but does it make me more 'homely' now?

then i commented that i kinda feel the loss of friends, after adapting this lifestyle.. her meant-well reply shook me up ' it's ok , it's just like those married couples.' MARRIED COUPLES! hello! i'm not even attached yet! how can i be leading such a 'intimate' life with my TV? trust me, this thought really sends chill down my spine.. unless i'm totally prepared to stay single all my life, why am i living like this? .. ok, i know i've been hermit for past months, using my son as excuse for not going out, when the truth is i'm just pure lazy to go out and mingle.. though i know i've taken the first step out of my shell, and packed my schedule for these 2 weeks (to the extend i'm so tired now!), but the harsh reality din get into me till this conversation! wow, thank God i've been dragging myself to reestablish some connections and really 'forced' myself to go out after work.. otherwise, i'll be a 101% single leading a married lifestyle..

but look on the bright side.. even though my status has changed but my commitment is still taking shape - to commit into family planning.. isn't it good? i'm all ready to be 'house-wife' - better skilled and more tamed now than before.. :) ahaha. see, a hermit's life is not that bad afterall..