i have a motive in joining the singles' ECP outing with my son today.. a chance for hugo to 'evaluate' the guys.. remember? my son is my protective angel - he sniff out good guys.. seriously, i'm so glad i brought him..
after the first 10mins of interaction (after the heavy rain),you can really see the real maturity and attitude of guys when hugo is around (as if hugo is the ever attentive police).. it was fun to see the difference - some who were eager to get my attention suddenly becomes quite distant.. obviously they are not ready for such commitment.. i concluded it's totally great decision to bring hugo along.. my hugo my son.. if the guy cannot or not willing to be accepted by hugo, no matter how attractive he is to me, he's not worthy for my consideration.. trust me, hugo is my gatekeeper.. and to pass this gate is not even in my list of requirements yet.
then again, why am i joining these activities? looking for him or for companionship? ... i wonder too.. to be very honest, less than 5% of the guys i met in the group can really get my attention and they are mere 'passable'.. at the rate i'm going, i doubt i'll find the person in the group.. so i guess i'm looking a new buddy? someone who share my views, yet no further consideration for any other relationship..a big brother?? but is it possible? it seems like everyone is looking for that someone, like a hunting game.. but i dont want to be in the game.. i am just looking for a matured person to talk and share interests with, yet not exploring further.. and please dont tell me - 'well, J, you never know - you can start as friends first.. ' Please! you know me - once friends, forever friends. i've no intention to break that principle.. platonic friendship.. that is what i'm looking for now.
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