looking at mr I's lifestyle, i really wonder what would i be if i choose to be with him. i mean, it's ok to befriend a rich 'abc' guy but to live with him is a total different ballgame. yes i know we tried a rship before, but that was so long ago when i was kinda 'abc' at young age. now, i'm more of a 'sbc' and 'abc' kinda turn me off coz of my stronger affection being chinese. *not worry i'm not nationalist, unlike some PRC :P *
what drove such decisions.. well, let's just say.. i did my part of evaluation.
1) i did had a chat w him on 'dog vs cat' issue. afterall my hugo will never leave me, neither will his kitty gerger.. just as cat n dog has different lifestyles, mr I and i are of totally opposite world which attracts but could nvr merge. can u imagine me being a partner of a totally sociable successful banker? bear in mind that bankers are living in HIGH-life.. and not to mention, i always have a bad impression of bankers coz they tend to be either arrogant or plain spoiled brats (if you dont know mr I well, you will think he's very arrogant)
2) in comparison of mw's keen n consistent sincerity, mr I is really taking his own sweet time to regain my trust after i declared to provide a fair field for both. time n tide waits for no man; there's a time n season for everything.. perhaps now, i'm looking for a really serious stable rship, if i'd start with anyone. timing does play an impt role in every decision in life. to make things worse in this evaluation, i know mw will dote me more than mr I, and he really goes all out to arrange and treasure every opportunity to know me, to be with me..
3) last night mr I invited me to join him at his drinking session with his colleagues on the reason that he drank too much. honestly i was happy that he actually had the intention to introduce me to his social circle. when i arrived, i was kinda annoyed with the fact that he was still 'sober' to drink and chat yet making it sounded so urgent that he was drunk.. in the end, after joining 2 straight shots of tequila and some dance *it's not very nice to leave straightaway in front of his friends, right?*, i shared cab back home with his colleague when he's sober enough to drive himself home. yes, i know it's kinda silly to rush down to 'bail him' in vain.. but i was really uneasy with the fact that he lied abt being too drunk to get home. well, at least i done my part as a concerned friend who attempted to bail him out from his drunkenness (i guess we are even now?)..
seriously.. i still cannot trust mr I.. or know what is in his mind now. one side he seem really sincere to patch thing back; another he does not seem to be sensitive towards me. being with him it's a roller coaster ride.. i can feel so 'treasured' at one moment yet feeling 'indifferent' in another moment..
btw, did i mention that mw was sending his colleague back from work when his colleague invited him to his church meeting that very night? yes, he went and was happy to be in church.. seriously, i really dont know what to think now.. what is Father God planning?
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