dont know why.. but i'm not really happy today. somehow i felt so sandwiched..
mr I and i had a good chat last night. he finally get the picture that there's party B and even party C in this woo game. after what happened, even though his thick brain finally realised he's not alone, i cant say i'm happy that he finally understand the situation. i know he likes me, even wanted me to be his gf (he tried to ask but somehow the question just does not come out). i know i like him yet i cant be sure i'd like to spend my rest of life with him. complicated? yes i know. that is why i'm starting to get this frustration. why rship cant be simple? why human including myself is so complicated?
on one hand, i know i'm falling for mw cos of his sensitivity and stability; on another, i admit i still feel for mr I. afterall mr I knew me as much as an bf would, and did i mention he's perfect fit into my 5Cs? *oh yes, mr I said he would attend Mass with me if we're in rship :) ... and so does mw who is 'looking forward' to fulfill my 1st C* should i be happy for such triangular rship? should i just be harsh on myself before any of them get hurt? some say i'm drawn towards mw, others told me it's clear that mr I is my choice.. which is which? i bet i'm the only one who can answer this qn. so, J, what's ur answer?
what is 'dating' to you people? i guess i really lost touch of dating cos when more than 1 guy is in this game with me, it kinda freaking me out now. i worry about the future.. who will get hurt? i'm not even in exclusivity and i'm freaking out.. i dont want to 'make use' of either of them just bcos i'm dating.. in fact, i wonder how can dating not be exclusive? if it's not exclusive, can i not regard as dating but as 'meeting up'? the word 'dating' has such commitment implication which is making me so complicated~
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