8 Mar 10 - loss of words

for those of you who dont know, mw is hospitalised since fri for pneumonia. i know he doesnt want me to worry but by withholding details from me is not helping either. i was out on friday night when i got this news.. as much as i know he has to go thru this himself, but i couldnt help wondering how was he.. i sent several sms and even called once .. i guess, due to no-mobile-in-hospital rule, his mobile was not on.. and it took him hours to reply.. 

in fact, when he finally came online on his lappy from hospital on sat night, i was happy to hear some live news from him (finally!!).. even though i was at a gathering then, my mobile msn connectivity was comforting enough.. on sun, we stayed online v-chat despite the freaking fact that it's SO HOT that i really couldnt be bothered to chat with him online.. in fact, i practically left my camera on (he's connected) while i went to lazed on my sofa n tv.. but in the end, i kinda picked a quarrel with him *trust me, it's the heat+boredom results* and he just hung up (i was watching tv then, totally ignorant till i checked my msn)

what really bothers me now is he's totally OFFline and NOT answering my calls! ok, this is getting on my nerves.. my bro said, for past 2yrs, he has never seen me so concerned over a guy.. and yet, this baka mw is getting on my nerves cos he didnt take care of himself and even landed in hospital!! what the heck is he doing to himself?? or what the heck am i doing to myself? why should i care?


i do care.. for some very logical reasons: 
1) he fell sick cos of me - he shielded me from the cold wind n rain during our genting trip, even gave up his jacket to keep me warm *it was really VERY COLD ok, i'm not faking*
2) i didnt notice his fever when we returned fr msia - i know he looks tired n weak after msia trip, but i trusted his words that he's ok and went on with all the gatherings in singapore *ok, i'm not a very sensitive friend but hey, he did say he's ok* if only he rested, perhaps his flu will be better and not worsen to pneumonia..

i m really freaking myself out too.. i actually care to the extent i wanted to send him a get-well gift, till  i realised i do not have his ward details, neither his home address.. add to the fact that he is staying uncontactable, i've no way to bless him or apologise to him with gift.. seriously, J, what is the heck are you doing to yourself?!!