to all concerned readers of j blog, i've just came back from taiwan after 5+1 days of road trip to various hotspring n mountain resorts. why '+1'? cos i had the great adventure of missing my flight on 5th day due to damn heavy traffic jam for 6hrs! (i arrived in airport at 1915hrs when my flight departed at 1910hrs.) anyway, this is not why i blog this entry..
throughout this trip, i have to say i'm totally pampered, well-taken care of and practically living off mw.. ok, my intention for this trip was to know him better, in the end i kinda fell so comfortably right into his 'trap' - i'm totally relying on him! for once, i really dont even bother to think or consider where/what to do/eat which is totally UNLIKE my controlling character! even with my dear old friends in taiwan, my situation awareness and planning was pretty much active all the time; with mw, i surprised myself on how i really trusted him n relied on him! to make things worse, we had good hearty chats every nights and the 'chemistry' was so comfortable and nice~ *i was very surprised that he actually wanted to adopt child into his family too!* i like the way he showers his concerns over me, even though he was so tired after a long drive everyday (we spent average of 4-5hrs on the road everyday).. one hand i'm telling myself to be rationale abt long distance rship; on another i know i'm falling right into a rship w mw.. and so i did.
what does it feel to fall in love yet afraid to love? that's what i'm feeling now.
i do like and very concerned for that pighead mw, but i also voiced my concerns over long distance. he listens and he understands my fear.. i know he loves me alot, to the extend that he's planning to find employment in singapore with long term prospect of settling down here~ trust me, he's really setting this plan cos of me.. am i blessed to have such caring guy to be so so ridiculously in love with me? yes, of course i am. but how do i feel? honestly, as i confessed to mw, i'm overwhelmed..i've always been the 'provider' in rship, it's kinda weird to enjoy such luxury of pamper from him now.. besides his injudicious pampering and care, i'm also in a whirlpool of amazement on how he provides analytic insights to my views yet accepting me for who i am. seriously, if not for my 1st C, i'd be totally convinced he'd be the one for me..
to be frank, he's so different from my 5Cs.. ok, he's not a Christian yet even though he's been attending NewLife Church w his colleague.. did i tell u how bizzare it was that he was 'invited' to NLC while sending his colleague to her cellgroup meeting? anyway, that's how God has arranged him to come to His calling... all i can say is he's still learning to walk with God and his efforts to learn is keen.. as for the other 4Cs, ok i must say he fulfilled 3 of them, the last C will be put to test if he settles down in singapore. unlike my previous bfs, he's more of 'studious' (nerdy) than a student leader type.he's just so different from them..
on my flight back, i surprised myself how i actually miss having him around me... serious! i thought it might just be a 'summer affair' afterall words are cheap (esp in such bewilderment) but it seems to be more than just a vortex..
to all who reads, i am now single yet UNavailable. :)
pps: ok ok.. in response to those who read yet confused at my 'SU' status.. i'm attached now, alright? *tsk tsk*
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