5 Jan 09 - How to behave when attached

how wld u behave when u r attached, ie ve a bf/gf?
i noticed being in romance make people behave childish(if i may put it this way).. yes, i do agree that people will be 'soften' by love, but still.. u need to know when to behave and how to carry yourself.. being in romance do not make u 'exclusive' from the family. there's still requirement of respect and honour to family members to be fulfilled... i know i can be very open and friendly but sometimes i do feel like snapping at some people to put them in place.. it is a thin line between friendly and misbehaving, esp when they treat respect casually.

some advice to those in relationship..
1) give the honour and respect to each and everyone in the family in front of ur partner.
of course i'm not saying to be haughty and proud, but no matter how close you are, they still are your family. Even if they are 1day older or 1 min younger, they still holds authority in the family. you may think 'what's the big deal' and i can tell you - IT IS A BIG DEAL.
Without going to the Bible's teaching on authority(you can refer to my previous blog), giving respect to everyone in the family will project your upbringing. (yes, i know it's very old school nagging but it's very true) how would u feel - when u meet up with ur partner's family, ur partner call them by silly names and the line of respect is so 'blur'. do you feel respectful to them? again, i'm not saying you cannot be casually friendly but you really must watch the line, esp addressing the elders. what goes around comes around. even if the elders may not earn your respect, they are your elders!

2) always put your own family first before your partner.
this is so typical.. once people are in relationship, they listen to their partners rather than their elders. I know it's 'common' cos i have failed in this area before. being 'been there done that', assuredly i say to you besides our Heavenly Father, no one absolutely NO ONE is more faithful than your family members. when all things collapse, your family will always be there for you as your support. as the old saying goes 'blood is thicker than water' - your partner may change but your family sticks with you throughout your life.
in fact i believe a good life-partner will not only try to be embraced into the family but also bring closer bonding and love into the 2 families. i know it sounds utopia, but it is all possible - if he/she really love you with all his/her heart and willing to take ownership of the 2 family bonds. (afterall marriage is a merger of 2 families)

3) never bad-mouth your family to your partner.
ok, let me justify myself - i'm not saying you cannot pour your woes (ir domestic quarrels or complaints) to your partner. in fact, you should cos they will know how to behave when they meet. but you should NEVER EVER UNDERMINE THEIR HONOUR AS FAMILY MEMBERS. an chinese saying goes ' never wash dirty laundry in public.' no family is perfect - hence there's bound to be some dark dirty secrets or bad politics.. after confiding (i use this word CONFIDE) to your partner, always ensure to restore honour back to the relevant members. like i said, how you regard your family members reflects your upbringing. you still do want your honour in the family after some domestic disagreement, right? trust me - what goes around comes around.

hence, do yourself a favour - carry yourself and your family well to your partners.
if you want a good happy marriage for the rest of your life, honour and respect your family members, from the oldest to the youngest. it will not only save your relationship but also grow closer in love.


Prov 11:29
He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind