despite the rain, i went CTK Mass today.. knowing it's just an hr's Mass, knowing i'm not in RCIA ministry anymore, not a catholic, not an 'obligation'.. i still went.. dragging my feet? no, not really.. i guess God must be reading my blog, cos after that blog entry on my hypocritical behaviour, the Joy returns to me.. no longer it's a normal routine, but a joy to stay faithful, to keep doing what is right in His eyes.. Gal 6:9 'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.' so even if the whole world fails, i will still keep doing what is right. i'm sowing seeds.. knowing that these seeds will bring forth a harvest in due season!
anyway, back to the Mass today.. though i met the RCIA group and my goddaddy, but.. somehow i need more than that.. i need somewhere, someone to unload my nicely packaged burdens.. those parcels which i've been carrying past mths have been dragging my spirit down.. it was till the Veneration of the Cross that really liberated me.. kneeling before Jesus at the Altar, i suddenly realised why i have this 'urge' to attend this Mass (though i already have to attend 2 CHC services on coming Sunday).. it's bcos i can really worship Him and place my all at the cross.. really literally speaking.. it's all been done - what has to be done had been done at the Cross. i almost wanted to keep kneeling, if not for i'm already the last person of the section and the whole congregation will be looking at me..
come to think of it, what had Jesus done to be nailed to the shame of Cross? He was teaching the Truth of Life and loving people wholeheartedly - healing the sick and dead with wonders and miracles, totally well-loved by the people.. yet bcos He humbled Himself to do the Will of His (Our) Father, He was sent to such a disgraceful and totally inhumane way of death, when i should be the one nailed to the cross for my sins and shame.. obligation? obedience?? pure love??? in any way, He did exchange His life for our eternal Salvation. THAT, my dear, is a GREAT SACRIFICE OF LOVE. i was not even born and was such strong 'anti-Christ' for the first 16yrs of my mortal life, yet He chose to love me to His Death.. those of you who have not experienced His Great Love, it may seem as a 'fairy-tale story', but trust me, the moment your eyes are opened to His Love and Grace, no matter how many 'I love you' cannot contain or measure the Greatness of God. ... He is simply too immersing and enormous, even for our wildest imagination.
Great is His Love! I LOVE YOU, JESUS!!
Psa 103: 11-14
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
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