what's the matter with the weather these days? when taiwan is having cooling temperature of 23C, i'm melting under a high scotching hot heat of 33C! worse still, where's my spring wind?? i cant even feel a breeze under this blazing sun! weather station expects storm in the afternoon, but where is it?! please come quench this drying land~~ i seldom have chapped lips, but now i've to apply lip balm every hr! hot hot hot~~
as much as it's logical to get in aircon environment now, but it's too hot for me to get out of my house! trust me, though i'm a sunny girl but i've never experience such crazy weather before - so hot too hot!! rain rain come, spring wind where are you?
and oh, did i tell you i'm suffering mad becos of this weather? i cant sleep cos of the warm night; then i'll coughing my lungs out (with tears and cant even breathe!) in this dryness; but i'll have such bad cold and flu at 4am cos of the coldness of dawn that i've to get up and grab my winter jacket, then battle with running nose till 6am.. and when i get up in the morning to this crazy sun, my body is totally normal that no one will believe i was fighting such a strong battle last night! (i know i'm getting on someone's nerves when i complain i'm so sick yet so normal in the day, it's just too hard to believe).. trust me, i am still very sick and weak at night! stupid weather!
ok enough of my useless complaints.. i'm still thinking about my spiritual walk. (and i chose the wrong person to confide this morning, he made me feel worse.)
anyway, i've to reconcile my walk myself.. the Bible says if you seek Him, He will surely let you find Him. even though i'm totally faithless, He is totally faithful in His Perfect love for me. i miss the 'heartache' i experienced in a cab, on the journey to B's house one day. the very heartache that caused me to weep in the cab, because of His great love for me despite of my backsliding and denial of His Holiness. (dont ask me why, I always have divine visions and experiences in cabs) that is the hurt yet love of 'giving you free will yet seeing you hurting yourself'... trust me, that is heartache in love
so what can i do to help myself now?
1) start praying - be it 5mins or 3mins, let the prayer engine warms up
2) start reading the Bible - a few more small books before completing the whole Bible
3) start attending service - after missing 2 services, it's about time to get connected corporately
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