sorry... a bit late on blogging today, partly cos of 'star-trek' and 'eureka' this morning. anyway, i'm relatively fine, except for some irregular heartbeats.. generally i'm ok, calmer.. my guess is this weekend trip is giving me stress before i actually could 'enjoy'.. if anything happens to me on this trip, this will be my last blog entry~
actually.. come, let me - being under depression, tell you how we think death is not a bad option afterall..
1) no more fighting with depression, which is a daily torture to be on guard against something u cant see..
2) no more being under public stigma, that depression is a 'mental illness' thingy.. (mind u, we are NOT psycho!)
3) no more anxiety attack (mild version of depression), so your heart can rest in peace..
4) no more thinking about the future, which addes uncertainty and possible fear..
5) no need to burden family members who have to take 'extra care' of us..
.. well, there're more if i can keep ruminating.. but i know i'll go crazy if i do
to counteract my dying thoughts, here's why i'm still alive..
1) i was dead twice and alive twice - there has to be a good reason for not allowing me to die
2) my family are very supportive despite the adjustments they have to make
3) my secret weapons are my friends - we may not be on constant contact, but we are always here for one another
4) my precious hugo needs my love and care
5) the feeling of being alive after death is greater than death itself
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