i must really commend my girlfriends for the faith they have in him.. i was so close to breaking myself up with tears, when i opened my doubt to them.. each of them really gives him such great benefit of doubt at work.. though those are mere words of consolation and encouragement, but it kinda 'reinforce' my benefit of doubt to him.. yes, i'm appeased now, but i really hope things are as they have said.. i will try to ignore the soft warning voice but i dont know how long i could hold my defence.
in my agony, i tried to call him just now, but no one answered, so i left 3 sms voicing my concern and frustration.... i guess i did what i could to help this rship.. i know wild thoughts are not helping, neither is total silence so i have done my part to break the silence and disperse those thoughts.. the ball is now in his court..
holding onto my girlfriends' faith, i hope i can lay down and stay calm for next 2 wks.. in any case, the rationale side of j has started to prepare for the worst. though it might hurt, but i will take consolation that i've put in my best effort and commitment in this rship. i really do love him alot *that's why it hurts so much last night*
if u r concerned too, please pray for us..
though i've been faithless, i still believe in power of prayers.
though it hurts, i still keep my fingers crossed that this rship is genuine and lasting.. *if not,please DO NOT ask me to accept guys ever again!! and DO NOT pray for me in rship ever again!!*
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