woke up in cold sweat and pain in chest again.. wonder when will i be normal again.. i tried not to think about unemployment, but it's not really helping.. God, when will this end? will i be able to work as normal again? what shall i do? times like this i kinda hope i'm dying of some kind of disease or somthing.. at least i dont have to feel painful for being alive.. how long did i take the last time? 2mths? ya, i took 2 mths... but can i afford the 2 mths now? i know thinking abt these wont help me, but i cant help thinking..
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what do u do when u r alone at home? after feeding my dogs, i really dont know what else can i do.. eat, watch tv, sleep.. these are my daily activities now.. usually i'll always find something to occupy myself, eg cooking or reading.. but this time i'd rather sleep all day and not dream abt anything! if this is the life of housewife, i dun mind being housewife now - at least no unemployment stress.. then again, who will want someone so sickly to be his wife?
do u think i can put this unemployment thingy behind me, at least for today? i tried to remind myself that God is my best career consultant.. so when there's no interview arrangement, it's just not the time yet; He knows when it's time for me to work.. be it HR or admin, i should let go and let Him have the control.. trust me, it's not as easy as i type..
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