today is saturday but i still have this pressure acting on my heart.. told my cg that i'll be attending service later (afterall i missed last week's service and cgm last night) but i dont know how to 'face' them.. not that i've to be answerable to them, but it'll be kinda weird to explain that depression is not mental illness, esp i'm in depression itself. but what the heck.. i just have to give it a shot somehow later..
can someone telll me what is the cause of my heart-pain, if that's a better way to put it.. the pressure that is acting on my heart.. soft classical music, tv programmes and streaming movies, u name it i guess i've tried all known ways to relax and ease this stress.. but it's not helping. i really need to get back my normal heart rate before i drop dead of heart attack..
if any of u is a doctor, tell me what should i do?
hard pounding heart beat; no/less appetite; hard to sleep at night and hard to wake up; besides from blogging, i'm simply 'lost of what to do'; take my pills and vit on time (knowing very well the high price of missing dosage).. what's your diagnosis?
***************
i was reminded of how lifted i would be whenever i attend church, be it service/mass, or cgm.. today's message was so apt on the book of Job.. and we all know Job was successful and lost it all in 1 day.. what a blow he must had, but in midst of physical, mental and emotional (fyi he slipped into depression too~), he kept his faith in God and trusted God in all that happened.. yes, this is the book which prepared me for my first depression.. and now, it's coming back at me now.. and i cant tell you, how much i've ignored His guidance and comfort for past days (how ingrateful i am~) ..
well, what can i say.. God is still watching over me. all these happen for a reason, a reason which i'm too young to know now.. He will light my path and guide my steps! God is good all the time; and all the time, God is good! He who is in me is Greater than he who is in the world!! J, trust in Him, o ye faithless one..
Job 13:15
Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face.
God who has been faithful to you in the past will continue to be faithful to you.
ReplyDeleteTake small step of faith and you will see small progression for God has made us overcomers and more than conquerors.
Take care, J.
Luke 10 (New International Version)
ReplyDelete38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Romans 10:17 (New King James Version)
17 So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Are you troubled about many things? Only one thing is needed. Hearing the word of God.
thanks, anonymous :)
ReplyDelete"be still and know that I am God".. something which i've been learning all my life..