*J, u shld really start a school.. a training centre or something to turn boys into man for relationship.. it's just so in you, such a 'gift'!*
i really 'cut it clean' in my heart after CK made me angry on the first morning of the year, with his inconsiderate expression of views..and my 'clean cut' gained consensus support from friends who knew n care for me.. but something was 'lingering' as if i had to do something to reconcile.. after a night's fun of drinking n dancing, this prompting still haunted me. in the end, i turned to my 'last resort' - prayer to God. during service today, i really prayed like no other to lift up this heavy 'should reconciliate' heart to God (afterall, he's the one who made me angry why should i initiate chat again?).. but as i lift this matter to God, the stronger the affirmation that i should initiate chat, the more peace resides in my heart.. *J, u just do not have the calibre to argue/quarrel* ok, regardless of how i feel, i have to bring peace to an annoying conflict, esp with a stubborn person.
it so happened that he's online at this unusual hour where he'd normally be offline. being totally at peace, with an attitude of 'well, someone has to tell him that somehow', i broke the cyber ice. even though i've always been open in my expressions and feelings, initiating such casual greeting was not easy.. and at some points, i could even feel my frustration steaming up. however, strange as it sounds, something somehow managed to cool the frustration and turn my annoyed thoughts into rationale calming words with hope of 'reaching out' to his understanding. trust me, if i didn't know the Holy Spirit, i'm pretty sure i'm having split-personality (which i do?! :P) but seriously, i myself was totally amazed by the logic and choice of words when i saw my msn typed reply. if tai-chi martial arts is about balancing the force of attack, i'm a super black belt tai-chi master in my language!! i'm totally amazed at how calm,peaceful and rationale i was when i've given up~ all i hope to bring across is "for sake of your future rship, learn to respect if u cant accept"
anyway, back to the ice breaking... this is the 1st time ever that we didn't have argument on msn! in fact, he was so silent (lazy perhaps?) when i was explaining my viewpoints and giving advice on 'stop being a hedgehog!'.. this is the first time i dont feel like a 'little girl' to him and was finally getting his attention in my speech (i hope so!).. i'm totally in awe of what God can do!
Matt 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
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