22 Jan 10 - my heart is too weak for such..

quick quick quick!! someone quick kill me!!!
i'm in such deep shit~!

for 2days in a row, i have received 2 DIRECT declaration for 2 different guys that they are going after me! and... i'm .. i'm.. the one whom i'm hoping would ask is MIA these days~ and even if he's online, he's taking it real SLOW~ *J,u r such a sucker for musically inclined talents*
oh my gosh!! quick quick quick, kill me!!

ok, let u in about this guy #1..
nice 1976 chap, knew him when i was working in taiwan (he's a taiwanese).. actually i kinda knew he liked me then, but i was with my 'dear bosco' then.. so i drew the line. it was until last week he re-established contact via FB, that we chatted almost every day.. he's been travelling ard on biz trips and is in ShenZhen now..

well, we started off as 'long lost friends' chat.. catching up and getting to know each other.. then he started being cheeky *yes, u know what cheeky means, esp from taiwanese guys* but i always managed to manage that part.. until last night he told me straight in my face (literally in my face cos i was facing my lappy screen) that he's serious abt having a long distance rship with me.. he dun mind flying down (since he's already flying ard).. and he is also serious about coming over in CNY to keep me company from 16-19Feb10.. u cannot, cannot imagine how FREAKED OUT i was!

yes i know he's a nice stable guy, but i've always regarded him as a friend.. oh btw, he's so determined (stubborn) to climb my 'category of friends' to become my bf! i'm so so so freaking out! i even started to insist that it's not possible for me to work in taiwan, nor to trust long distance rship etc (regardless how much i love taiwan!).. he's simply NOT listening!! i give up... decided to take a step at a time to convince him of impossibility..

guy #2
nice tall 1979 chap.. only get to know him when i was a HR Manager in same company for a short short time, even though he was from same poly with me (he was attached w ms temasek poly then).. overall, he's a nice guy-sensible and very gentleman too.. and i dunno why but we've always been brutely blunt and honest in giving each other 'feedback' .. *perhaps cos i've always been such 'buddy' girl* and yes, he has access to this blog of mine..

ok anyway, few days ago, he shared with me abt he's trying to send his vibes over, yet i'm not responding.. and how this girl whom he just knew came along and she's responding to him. ok, fine.. so i thought it's good for him esp he's been 'complaining' that he's lonely after his breakup in Nov/Dec09.. *personally i feel it's a very short recovery period*.. being all rationale J, i kinda take his mind off all the lovey dovey crush by exploring all possible reasons of why he's so hiped over her..

then, out of all sudden.. he just gave me shock of my life that he told this girl abt me.. and how he had good feelings for a girl-next-door, like me.. and he wanted to 'give me a try' even though he knows she has good feelings for him!?! i freaking dont remember what words he used but i'm already freaking out (again!).. why on earth drag me into their possible good rship, when they could start happily?? and if i remember correctly, the girl did shed a few tears upon his decision! *what the hell was he trying to do? kill himself?? or me?!?!?* .. but somehow, i doubt if he's real.. cos he's another too cheeky guy who is capable of teasing me to my maximum! i sure hope this is not true~

seriously, what in the world is happening to guys around me?? can they stop freaking me out with such confidence?! i have a super weak heart for love affairs now.. please dont scare me like this~~~~ wake up me from this nightmare, FAST!!

p/s: didn't i tell u God is indeed TRUE GOD? when He blesses, He does not just send blessing, HE POURS BLESSINGS! *someone has to tell Him abt apportionating His blessings in accordance to what the receiver can receives!*

pp/s: bro, i know u have been praying for me.. what on earth have you been praying?!?! stop the generic prayers, start getting specific!! i only want ONE~ pleaaseee our Father dotes on you, He answers whatever you pray, so please please.. ONE right one, ok? spare me from these freaking shocking news~ 2 in 24hrs?!?!