another 'fruitful' day... and i find myself getting more expressively in my language with each effective day spent. i hold onto my principle of 'my word is my bond' hence i've been very careful of every idle word spoke forth from my mouth. though i'm totally faithless (and angry) with God, He is still the Ultimate Judge in the Highest. then again, i find myself more expressive.. the more expressive i am, the more 'liberated' i feel.. ok, perhaps liberated is not the word to use but i really feel so much better after each expression. so, if u hear such expression from me these days, please pardon me - i just have to let it out from my bones.
i watched resident evil-after life in 3D today. cant say i enjoyed it, cos it's not much of a plot but a sequent. more of a 'matrix' effect, than bio-hazard. yes i am freaking scared of bio-hazard shows, more than those real-life ghost ones. well, i was in faith when i claimed this but it seems to be 'out-of-place' now.. anyway, my logic is if ghosts are as real *they are!* then my God is also real and mightier. but when it comes to human's deed of bio-hazard, it just freaks me out on who-know-which-mad-careless-scientist-is-doing-out-there. vampire? i'm fine.. brain-dead mutating zombies?? u can kill me on that! anyway, thankfully there's not much horror this time.
had a good meal with eirene n elsie again.. i really appreciate their company and stories. looking at them, i'm inspired to get well soon.. to enjoy my singlehood of 'waiting' for my long distance rship bf. i wonder if he feels the same or has he given up? but in both ways, i promised to give him space and i'll face it with him when he's ready to face me. my word is my bond.. still my bond. darling, remember this - i still love you.
eirene said i'm getting better, no need for psychiatrist but.. i'd still go for professional help. this depression is a time-bomb within me. i really want to get it out, even though i might forever be in medication. just get this freaking shivers, panic attacks and morning tortures out of my life!! i just want to lead a simple normal life!
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