trust me, i really dont know what's happening to me.. i have great good friends around me - gwen kept me company last night, and angie stayed overtime with me in office just now. besides travelling distance, i've always been in the company of someone, someone who cares for me.. even joanne volunteered to go home together, if not for my overtime.
i know i'm loved - by the 2 libras, by all of you people.. but when panic attack attacked, there's really nothing i can do except hiding myself in washroom. i shivered so much as if i'm in super cold temperature. i tried scolding myself, assuring myself and even loving myself but my heart is just too weak and fearful now. even with careful cupped hands, it wont dare to come up.. the confidence just left me..
i'm still functioning as a daughter, as a executive, as a friend.. i just have to wear diff 'masks' (if i may call them) to different people. and i cannot afford to be alone (for long) - i'll break down badly. the last thing i want to do is to cry in office, causing panic to all who care for me. but i wonder how long i can last.. 27sep is still such long way to go. not to mention, next week my dear angie will be on 1-week's leave to taiwan *yes, i wish i can join her!*, and i'll be working 'alone'..
if anyone of you believe in miracle, please pray for me. base on your faith, let me be strong to overcome all the stress and loneliness. base on your prayers, .. pray for my darling minwei to return to me forever. gwen is such a gem as she said she'll voodoo for me (she doesnt believe in God).. but seriously, pray for my darling, ok? i know you people loves me, but do try to love my darling too... despite all these.. cos i still love him.
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